My Ramblings:
This book was hit or miss for me. Following Hudson Wheeler as he navigates an unorthadox senior year of high school several different plots weave together to give us a whole picture of Hudson's life. The book started off really strong, and thankfully ended really strong, but lost me a bit in the middle. In thinking about why, I think it's mostly because I really, really didn't like the object of Hudson's affection, Alana Love, and I don't think the author gave Alana enough redeeming qualities to justify Hudson's devotion. So, for the purposes of this recap, I'm going to pretend for a moment that Alana is a non-factor (I'll come back to her in a minute) and instead lead with all the good, and there was a lot of good. Hudson is a great main player. He's a kid on the verge of figuring out who he is and he's doing his level best to find that sweet balance between work and life. It's almost like he's trying to fulfill that quote "Choose a job that you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life", but isn't quite sure how to do that. He starts by convincing his mom that he should home school, striking a deal that he'll attend class two times a day (Yoga and Art) and then work and home school the rest of the day. This works out amazingly well and we quickly see Hudson finding his groove with his two small businesses, dog walking and helping local Senior Citizen's with minor emergencies. The start of the story as we see Hudson getting himself set up is spot on, we get some background on Hudson and get to meet the secondary players including Mr. Pirkle and Fritzy who both factor heavily into helping Hudson figure out what his next steps will be. Without giving too much away, throughout the story Fritzy helps Hudson come out of his shell a bit, and Mr. Pirkle deals Hudson some difficult cards that help Hudson both find some purpose and process some old feelings about his own father's death. The end of the book finds Hudson and Fritzy uncovering a surprise mystery (a really well plotted out twist), helping Mr. Pirkle and Hudson making some big decisions about his future. I felt like this whole arc, of Hudson figuring out who he is, was really well done. Seeing him struggle to figure out what kind of a person he wants to be, and what kind of a writer he wants to be, is great. Not for nothing, but I would love to read the fictitious Ghosts of War graphic novel he ends up writing in the book. Now for Alana. She's awful. Truly. She uses Hudson every step of the way and Hudson just goes along with it. To the point where they even hook up and he acknowledges that it was probably just an audition to Alana, a chance to make sure that he's not totally gross and that they could travel together after high school and occasionally hook up without totally grossing her out. She constantly ditches Hudson for her actual boy friend, but tugs him back in whenever she feels like it or needs the attention. She is constantly cutting Fritzy down with comments about her height, and she does it for no other reason then because she can. She uses Hudson like a toy to show off, and then ignores him when he's not useful anymore. And she does this all while knowing that Hudson is head over heels for her. She's legit horrible. I know the argument here is that high school boys are basically a bundle of hormones with no common sense at all, but throughout the rest of the book Hudson is presented as a smart, thoughtful guy, it's even pretty obvious that he knows that Alana sucks, but loves her anyways. Any time he interacted with her I just wanted to skip past that section. For me, I wish that Alana had some redeeming qualities that made it make sense for Hudson to keep holding on to the "what if" of a relationship with Alana. Her character was really the only weak part of an otherwise really well written book. So, bottom line. This was a good book. It was a relatively short and easy read and I thoroughly enjoyed the relationship between both Hudson and Fritzy and Hudson and Mr. Pirkle. It was great to see a kid like Hudson be able to open up and find common ground with people that you wouldn't expect. I look forward to grabbing a few more of Berla's books soon. Happy reading!
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My Ramblings: I knew this was going to be an amazing book pretty much right off the bat. Not only because John Green is an amazing author. Not even because I had only heard great stuff about the book. Nope. While both those things are absolutely true, I knew this was going to be an amazing book when I stopped reading to take pictures of lines that I thought were important. I'll annotate the hell out of a text book, but not my novels. I don't want my thoughts to cloud the next persons experience, so instead I snap pictures that I can refer back to. I'd barely read anything at all before I had to stop and document what I was reading. I think I even went so far as to tweet out that first picture, it struck me that hard. So what was is about this book that clamped down so hard on me? For those of you have been here before it's no secret that I have long lived with both anxiety and depression. For the most part I'm good and life goes on, but there are other days where just getting through the day is a struggle. In other words Aza is me and I am Aza. While it manifests for Aza throughout the story in ways that are sometimes foreign to me, the experience is none the less the same. I could try to explain what living with anxiety feels like, but Green so perfectly encapsulates it in the book, so instead I'll just share the 4 most pertinent pictures I took of the book and meet you on the other side.
So what is it about these four quotes in particular that caught my eye? Well, I think they speak to something universal about living with a mental illness. I can't speak for everyone, but I do know that these things are real. Sometimes you just can't get out of your own head and the thoughts you have just spiral, slowly tightening until you can't handle it anymore. And you know that it isn't normal (although what is normal anyways?), and the rational half of your brain knows that you shouldn't let yourself get sucked in, but you literally can not stop yourself. You know it, you just can't do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like you are living with a monster (or demon) and other times it seems like you are the monster, that your issues are pushing others away, ruining not only your life, but also the people you love. I also know that when you find people that just get it. That see the world the way you do, it can slow down that spiral for a moment and make you feel a little less alone. Mental illness is a beast to deal with and it's not often that it's portrayed so accurately in fiction. I think what John Green does with Aza is phenomenal- he manages to keep the descriptions universal enough for people to connect with, while still creating a very specific character that struggles with her demons in a way that is intensely personal.
Beyond Aza and her living with a mental illness, the rest of the story is also really well done. I don't want to give anything away, but there's a mystery involving the missing father of a childhood friend, there's romance and friendship and Star Wars Fan Fic. In other words there's a little something for everyone! Aza navigates her life the best she can and her friends and family are with her the whole way, even when they struggle to live beside her illness. Green doesn't shy away from the hardships that come with this kind of illness, but he also remembers that when you have anxiety (or another illness), it's not all you are. It's a part of your life and it impacts how you live, but it's not all there is, and Aza gets to have a wealth of experiences throughout the book that we get to follow her on. I enjoyed this book from start to finish and I can't wait to get a copy in the library because I think it's one that all my students should read!
In twenty powerful chapters written by Supernatural’s actors and fans, including series lead Jared Padalecki, Family Don’t End with Blood: How Supernatural Has Changed Lives examines the far reach of the show’s impact over the last eleven years. Supernatural has encouraged fans to change their lives, from getting “sober for Sam” to escaping a cult to pursuing lifelong dreams. But fans aren’t the only ones who have been changed. The actors who bring the show to life have also found, in the show and its community, inspiration, courage, and the strength to keep going when life seemed too hard.
In keeping with the show’s message to “always keep fighting,” and to support the important work of combatting stigma and encouraging those who are struggling to speak out, a portion of the proceeds from the book will be donated to charity Attitudes in Reverse, whose mission is to educate young people about mental health and suicide prevention. Contributors from Supernatural’s cast include: Jared Padelecki (“Sam Winchester”) Jim Beaver (“Bobby Singer”) Ruth Connell (“Rowena MacLeod”) Osric Chau (“Kevin Tran”) Rob Benedict (“Chuck Shurley aka God”) Kim Rhodes (“Sheriff Jody Mills”) Briana Buckmaster (“Sheriff Donna Hanscum”) Matt Cohen (“Young John Winchester”) Gil McKinney (“Henry Winchester”) Rachel Miner (“Meg Masters”) Edited by Lynn S. Zubernis, a clinical psychologist, professor, and passionate Supernatural fangirl, Family Don’t End with Blood provides an insightful and often uplifting look into the way international fan communities become powerful, positive forces in the lives of so many. My Ramblings: This one is a hard one to review. Not because I have nothing to say, but because I have too much to say. The short review would be... this book was written for people like me, by people like me, who all geek out over the same stuff and who all belong to the same, weird, fabulous family. If they had gotten it wrong, it would have sucked. Luckily they got it so very right. This review will double as a bit of my own story too. I've written and re-written this post several times and there is no other way to do it. My life and story are too inextricably woven with the people and stories in this book. So, here goes... First, about this book. I love the format. Stories from fans about how this show and community have impacted their lives are woven seamlessly with stories from those who actually work on the show. As a fan it was really interesting to see how the fandom has impacted the actors from the show. In a lot of respects fandom seems like a one way relationship - we are the consumer, of the show, of show merchendise, of conventions (with autographs, panels and pictures included) and they are, for lack of a better word, the product. Yes, they are actual breathing humans, but what they are selling (All things Supernatural) is a product for us to consume. In many the case of many TV shows, movies or music, this is as far as it goes, we appreciate a job well done and we spend our money accordingly. Here though... this seems to be a different beast. Reading the accounts of members of the cast you get a sense that this is no longer a one way street, but instead this is a relationship that goes both ways. For all the ways they have helped us, we have also helped them. After 13 years together, it seems impossible that it wouldn't have effected everyone involved. One of the best parts of this book is that it allows you to find yourself in the pages. From reading about people who used the show to make sense of their own life, to hearing from Jared Padelecki about his own struggles with anxiety and depression, there is a sense that people across the board are pouring their truth into this book. When you open yourself up like that it's scary, but it can also be so rewarding. You not only share your own story, but give the reader something to relate too. With so many varied stories, there is really something for everyone. Unless, of course, Supernatural is not your jam... in which case, why are you reading this book anyways? If Supernatural is your thing... then this book is also your thing. It's worth grabbing a copy online or in person at a convention. The editor will sign it for you and if you have autograph tickets, so will the actors. I know I plan on taking mine to the next convention I'm at for a few autographs! Now... about me. Why this book? Why Supernatural? That's a loaded question that will take forever to answer, and I do plan on answering it fully in another post I'm working on ("The Ramblings of a Life Time Fangirl"- stay tuned) but I do want to address specifically why Supernatural has made such an impact on me in the last few years. To start I should say that I've had anxiety my whole life. If you've read this blog at all, or know me in person, this should be no big surprise. It's something I used to hide, that I thought I needed to hide. I have situational anxiety that I work hard to overcome (thus far I've gotten over my fear of dogs, horses and for the most part needles), but I also have social anxiety. I really struggle with groups of people in situations where I feel like I need to impress. First day of school is nightmarish for me. Starting a new job causes days of anxiety. When I was in college I was able to get some really good coping mechanisms that carried me for a little more then 10 years. They worked until they didn't anymore. Several factors combined to pull me really low and I found that I could no longer prevent an anxiety attack, and much more concerning to me, I could no longer pull myself out of the depression that followed. I had a job that was toxic and while I had good co-workers and students, the leadership was such that people felt targeted, bullied and intimidated. My stress, combined with the stress of people around me, was too much for my brain to handle. It was at this time that I got into Supernatural at the suggestion of a friend. Immediately I felt a connection, these were people dealing with crazy stuff, but finding a way to pull through and beat their figurative and literal demons. On top of that, watching Supernatural came with a built in community, the SPNFamily. I knew how powerful fan communities could be from my time as a TwilightMOM, so I stepped into this new circle hoping I would find the same acceptance and support. I can't even describe how happy I was to find this tribe. The crazy thing was, it wasn't just the fans, it was the actors too. A whole community sprung up around me and I haven't looked back. When I read about Jared breaking down overseas and being unable to hold off his anxiety anymore I see myself. I see myself in the fans and the actors who contributed to this book in a myriad of ways and it serves as one more thread in our web of support. It's why I was unable to put this book down once I started reading, I was so invested in their stories because they are my stories too. As an aside, and a story that will probably get re-told again at some point. For a lot of people they see Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles as the heart of Supernatural. They are, to an extent. They are certainly the heart of the show. For me though, I look to another actor, Rob Benedict. I went to my first Convention for Jared, Jensen and Misha, but I found myself leaving as a Rob fan more then anything else. Why? It's simple. He said the words I needed to hear, when I needed to hear them. I was coming off some of the worst months I've had with my anxiety and depression. The convention was a goal to reach, a reward for sticking with it and surviving the day to day grind of my toxic work environment. My first op was with Rich and Rob and it was phenomenal (recap here), the next day Rob checked in with me about how it came out. He didn't need to, but it was that simple gesture that made me truly feel like I was part of the family. Seeing Rob on stage at Saturday Night Special, both at the Jacksonville Convention and more recently at the DC Convention, only cemented my belief that he is the heart of this family. There's something powerful about seeing him pour his heart out on She Waits and being part of the sea of lights winking back at him. When he says things like "You are loved. If by no one else, then by me" you get the sense that he 100% means it. When I had my last photo op in DC I was running on fumes. I'd been up since 6am and with the Convention running late I was looking at starting my 6 hour drive home at around 9pm. I was toast. After my picture with Rich and Rob I turned to Rob to say "Thank You" just in general, but I ended up telling him that when I was at my lowest, this community, this family, him being so welcoming in DC, is part of what kept me moving in the right direction. I hadn't intended on bringing the feels to a photo op at 7pm on a Sunday, but I did anyways, and Rob, reinforcing what I already believed, again said something that hit the mark. He looked at me and said "Stay with us. We'd miss you." He doesn't know me, he most certainly wouldn't miss me if I was gone, but someone would, this family would. We are a community that supports each other, we accept each other despite of our vast number of differences and we help each other to be better. I rambled on a lot longer about me then the book, but I think it's all part and parcel of the same thing. The book brings together examples of how Family comes in all forms, and to quote Bobby Singer (and the title), "Family don't end with blood, and it don't start there either". I'm so proud of Lynn and what she has been able to bring to this family. I'm proud of the people who opened their hearts and contributed to this book. I'm proud of the actors who are willing to share a bit of themselves with us every week on TV, at conventions all over the world, and in this book. Most of all I'm proud of the #SPNFamily and the community we have fostered. I can't wait to read more! |
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Home of the ramblings of an avid reader. In my spare time I also run, ride, teach, go on adventures and get into shenanigans. Find me here: Goodreads Etsy TikTok Categories
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